American Samizdat

Tuesday, April 01, 2008. *

WASHINGTON (CAP) - A week after Hillary Clinton chastised MSNBC reporter David Shuster for saying the Clinton campaign was "pimping out in some sort of weird way" daughter Chelsea Clinton for contacting superdelegates on her mother's behalf, CAP news has learned that the campaign is, indeed, quietly offering up the former First Daughter's company in exchange for committed support at the Denver convention.

The "Win A Date With Chelsea" contest will be a raffle in which all committed superdelegates are entered into a drawing this summer with one partly schlep chosen at random to spend an evening with the 27-year-old Chelsea.

Former president Bill Clinton, who was having trouble getting old friends to return his calls in recent weeks, has now been bombarded with bids for his daughter's attention. One Southern superdelegate eagerly offered his support, saying of the former gawky, braces-riddled teenager: "She's so purdy now. I think I love her."

Approached by one superdelegate during a campaign stop in Virginia, Bill Clinton hastilly reprimanded: "Don't give the committment to me. You give the committment to the girl. You understand?"

Chelsea is reportedly uncomfortable with the idea, yet going along with it to help the floundering campaign of her mother, whom she called "madam" instead of "mom" twice during a lecture to college students at Marquette University.

When CAP News approached the Clinton campaign for comment on the bizarre and potentially lurid campaign tactic, Hillary angrily responded that questions about Chelsea were "off limits." Her staff then discreetly handed out napkins with an 800 phone number scrawled on the back under the header: "For a good time, call if you are a superdelegate."
posted by m at 5:55 AM
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