American Samizdat

Thursday, November 30, 2006. *
My goodness, the world is just so... civilized.

The Federal Elections Commissions has solved all of the electoral problems in the United States by politely asking corrupt politicians and contributors to 'fess up' if they've done anything illegal.
The proposal contains two penalty recommendations for violators who voluntarily blow the whistle on themselves. One would reduce civil penalties by 50 to 75 percent of standard fines, depending on the steps taken to report and correct the violation. Another would set the reduction at 50 percent, but give the commission leeway to lower or increase the discount based on mitigating factors.

"What this policy focuses on are people who come in and tell us things that we would not otherwise know," Weintraub said.

How perfectly fantabulastic! We can solve all of our problems this way... just look sternly at policymakers and PACs, fold your arms, and gently say "Now, is there anything you'd like to tell me?"

Don't be too rough with them. Even in the worst cases, a little apology goes a long way. Like, for instance, if you've been unjustly tortured in a CIA-run prison where you were beaten and sodomized, it would just be churlish to demand more than a mea culpa. Yeah, the honor system, that should do it...hahahaha
posted by Uncle $cam at 11:41 PM
Post a Comment

Site Meter

Creative Commons License