American Samizdat

Friday, September 08, 2006. *
Bush has never had the slightest intention of catching Osama bin Laden. He needs bin Laden like he needs air or water. Without bin Laden, he is nothing. Without bin Laden, he wouldn't be a "War President" wielding dictatorial powers over a cowed, confused nation. Without bin Laden -- whom Bush has now taken to quoting as an expert on world affairs -- the Potomac pipsqueak would be just another failed, one-term president named George Bush, a national joke, a trivia quiz answer, a half-forgotten goober ridiculed for a feckless reign that made Jimmy Carter look like Bismarck. Without bin Laden, Bush never would have had the chance to seal his prejudices and inadequacies in the blood of tens of thousands of innocent people. How could he ever give up bin Laden, who gave him his truest self? Bush is bin Laden, bin Laden is Bush: they gaze at each other lovingly across the smoldering ruins of cities and the festering pits of mass graves, and whisper tenderly one to the other: "You complete me."


In a land ruled by law and reason, a land where morality had any purchase at all, Bush would be sitting in a jail cell tonight, awaiting trial for high treason, terrorism and conspiracy to commit murder.

Instead, he'll be prancing around the country, taking out his little bin Laden rag doll and shaking at it the crowds to give them a big scare. But you know that when he goes to bed tonight, he'll give that little doll a kiss and a hug and snuggle up with it under the covers.
posted by Uncle $cam at 2:03 AM
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