American Samizdat

Tuesday, September 19, 2006. *
Bush also praised the push for democracy in the middle east, referring to the goal as "the calling of our generation."

The October Surprise will get rolling about the 10th of next month.

President Cheney and his Amazing Meat Puppet will keep their whole Iranian sanctions pot a boilin' over until then. But they will not attack Iran preemptively.

That won't work, not after the debacle in Iraq. Nor will they actually engage in sanctions, a boycott or a naval blockade, which the world will neither observe nor countenance. They need a war, but America can't start it.

That's why the plan is for Israel to attack a few nuclear enrichment facilities inside Iran, using conventional bunker buster bombs. This won't accomplish a damned thing, since those bunkers are a full hundred feet underground. But it will let Bush hold up his hands and say, "There's jes' no holdin' them Israelis back, heh heh . . ."

Then, when mean, bad old Iran responds with missiles at Israel, at US troops, or at oil tankers in the Strait of Hormuz, or at Saudi, Kuwaiti or other oil fields, or simply stops shipping oil -- well, Bush will put on a ten gallon white hat, give a speech about brimstone and Jesus, and begin the 30-day 4,000-target bombing campaign that's been planned for well over a year.

He carries the speech in his breast pocket, and he reads it to his bathroom mirror every night after he brushes that crooked smile of his. He's ready. We're ready. We've already moved several aircraft carriers to the region, and now we're sending minesweepers to the Gulf from the first of October.

We're primed and pumped for CNN's next video war, but Israel has to start it so Bush can ride in on a white horse and save poor, defenseless Israel from the slavering Muslim hordes. And save Western civilization, too. And white wimmens everywhere, and kids, and puppies, and our precious bodily fluids. Just like Audie Murphy used to do.

Buy yourself some Exxon, some Blackwater and some Halliburton stock, or run the risk of working for a living from here on out.

Bush doesn't bluff. He's not going to lose this election and be investigated and impeached and imprisoned. None of the above. He's down to a pair of deuces, and not much left to lose. He's going to kick over the table, and start shooting. He figures it's a heap sight better n' playing out a losing hand.

A man has got to know his limitations.

Bush hasn't a clue.
posted by Uncle $cam at 3:35 PM
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