U.S. Team Blames Bush Leadership for Loss
All is not well in the Green Zone. The United States suffered its second straight loss at this years Ryder Cup. The choice of George W. Bush to be the captain of the team turned good winning chances into a humiliating defeat. Tiger Woods was perhaps the most outspoken. "When I checked my bag I was missing several clubs I needed," he said. "You should never send a team into competition without providing them with the proper equipment." I asked my Dad to send me a putter from home, but I lost two holes before it arrived. Phil Mickelson was more upset that the team had to use carts. It's tradition, it's in the rules that the players walk the course. It put our caddies out of a job, but even worse was George's choice of Hummers. They caused us a lot of problems. We were constantly on the lookout of IEDs (Improvised European Derision) It's hard to concentrate when you're being ridiculed. The President refused to apologize. The equipment was the best available, and as to some rule about no carts, we don't need a permission slip from Europeeeans to use Hummers. One unanswered question was how George was picked as captain. A majority of the team had voted for someone else. In spite of a dismal showing there were a few bright spots. On the last day of competition Davis Love won his match even after finding his ball in a Cheney Bunker on the eighteenth hole. Stewart Cink said "most players would give up upon finding their ball in a Cheney bunker it's to Love's credit that he didn't, but in the final analysis it wasn't enough and now we'll have to wait two more years to redeem ourselves. George when asked to comment on our teams performance said "I'm satisfied we're making progress."
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