Big Warblogging Brothers and Big Warblogging Sisters of America have remained the experts in maintaining the fervor for war since its founding on 9/11/2001. There have always been those who waved the flag and sent children to war in foreign lands, who have protected the Homeland from threats both foreign and domestic BWB and BWS lead the fight against evil doers every day of their lives. Americans adrift, those with only one flag, those who fly it only on holidays, those that are tired of thinking for themselves receive mentoring from these proud Americans and have shown a real understanding of the views expressed by the BWB and WBS of America. Studies have shown marked improvement in levels of aggression for those being mentored. They have all acquired a knack for committing logical fallacies in their arguments. Of ratting on their neighbors, but that is only the TIP of the iceberg. They have gained confidence in defending a sentimental emotional view of the world. WBB and WBS is a way of connecting with models of stupidity, arrogance, and feeling good about it. Think back to your first experience on the internet. Think about the first war blogging brother or sister who shared their world view with you. They introduced magic into your world and your eyes opened for the first time like wild flowers. You're contact with one of our mentors can be your ticket to a giant ego. Never again will you be afraid of the facts.
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines success as a "desired outcome." Well then, thanks to our volunteer warbloggers, success abounds! Our BWB and BWS are helping members of the internet community learn, grow and achieve in ways that otherwise may not have been possible. And here's the kicker: Success is achieved without ever having to think for yourself! Here are some of our favorite success stories.
Capt Scott and Glenn
"I wouldn't be who I am or where I am today without Glenn's influence. I'd be sitting on some park bench dreaming about blow-jobs. I was headed in that direction. Glenn is so modest, so cool, so manly. He has no idea what he's done for me." It was only a year ago that Big Warblogger Glenn was matched with Capt Scott. Capt Scott has fond memories of late night sessions with Glenn learning the ins and outs of obfuscation. Glenn was patient even when Scott made posts that got him rightly fisked and when those nasty liberals fact checked his ass. Glenn taught him how to fight back. I remember his patience, he was as patient as could be. I must have made the same mistakes dozens of times. The thing I remember most was the day he permalinked me. I still get chills down my spine. I hardly ever think about blow-jobs anymore. Those were incredible moments for me.
Pejman and Lileks
Pejman and Lileks were matched as Little and Big Warbloggers in August. Holy poo said Pejman on learning the news. Today Pejman is all grown up the proud father of the "Adopt-A-Bomb" program. Lileks and Pej still exchange emails at least once a week Pej requesting a permalink Lileks saying no. What Pej remembers most are the little moments when their names were linked in print at Warblogger Watch. Pej was so happy with the program and his growth as a warblogger that he has become a Big Warblogger himself which leads us to the next success story.
Misha and Pejman
Pejman was matched at his request with Misha a cute little Rotweiller. You're my bitch now he was heard to say. Misha listens carefully to the instructions from his mentor. He has already learned several important warblogger commands. He understands Sic that dude deserves a fisking, but is having trouble understanding the concept of "Fact Check His Ass", he does a lot of sniffing around, but to date hasn't had any success. They seem happy together however. Pej says, "I like patting his head and the way he does whatever I say".
Asparagirl and Sasha Castel
Asparagirl was paired with Sasha
On a sadder note the Brothers and Sister's today mourned the passing of mentor War Now but seemed undaunted, word was circulating that "War in Two Or Three Weeks" would take his place.
Overall the success of the program is undeniable, the military has been mobilized. George is refusing to accept yes as meaning yes. More Americans than ever before are behind bars. Criticism of the government is at an all time low, and Tom Ridge has taken off his orange shirt and is once again wearing yellow. George assures us that maybe twenty or thirty years from now he wont need to where any shirt at all. "I'll never end the war until terror is well terrorless," he said.
Disclaimer:
This program is in no way related to Big Brothers and Big Sisters of America
Post a Comment